12: Cistine Chapel

12: Cistine Chapel (Photo credit: NatBat)

Yesterday morning I was in a class where the leader asked for a volunteer to talk to Jesus — as if you could reach out and touch him. This was the beginning of a long conversation about having your own, personal relationship with Jesus. I passed on the exercise but the question stayed with me throughout the day. What would I have said to Jesus? I decided it would have gone something like this:

Hi Jesus,

I know you’re always with me so you must have seen the chaos this morning. Actually, before we get to that, I want to thank you Jesus for providing me with enough coffee for that one cup because I thought for sure there wasn’t any more. I’m so fortunate that you, in your divine humanity, understand water into coffee is just as great a miracle as water into wine! What’s that? Oh yes, so about that situation with the kids earlier… Jesus I need your help! Really, just how many times do I need to ask before they do what I say? That is to say I really wouldn’t have to yell (and take your name in vain… sorry for that) if they would just listen! You probably are very used to this problem but Jesus I am not patient like you. Jesus please teach me patience (but without making me wait)!  Maybe Jesus you can just put the fear of God into the children when required so I can do things like get their shoes on and teeth brushed? Or, even better, you could levitate me a couple inches off the floor!! Now that would really do the trick. I’m sure they would listen to me after that! Amen Jesus, I’m glad we talked. I feel much better.

Actually, the above example is how I usually do talk to Jesus. Jesus is like my imaginary friend except he doesn’t wear a bunny suit and I guess he isn’t imaginary so that just makes him my friend — nice! I was pleasantly surprised to realize this type of constant conversation was actually a type of prayer – as poor as my pleadings to him may be.  I was also surprised by how sticky Depeche Mode’s song “My Own Personal Jesus” is because I was singing it all day after hearing the term in class.