“Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees.”
― Victor Hugo
I’m brooding. Thank God Catholics get to brood. I can’t imagine going to a church right now that would ask me to sing happy rainbow songs with a giant screen and clap. Where’s my wool cloak? Where’s my rosary? Where’s my Gregorian Chants? I want to meditate on the sorrowful mysteries. O.k. so I don’t have a wool cloak but I do have a really itchy wool sweater that could do the trick- maybe I’ll wear it all day. Today is the anniversary of Sept. 11th and that alone is worth brooding about. Yesterday I was laid off and forced to join the American “unemployed”. That, of course, is also worth brooding about. The list goes on but it’s really just filled with more pebbles I’m kicking off my path as I walk around brooding. Brooding is a natural result of being human and as a human I am therefore allowed to wallow in it’s lousiness. Does that pop anyone’s bubble? It’s a surprising thing and Mrs. Cleaver (and my mom) may disagree, but it is o.k. to feel lousy. You don’t have to be happy all the time! In fact, it is important to wallow in lousiness once and awhile— just don’t overdo it. Let’s take 9-11. If we don’t feel it’s impact, remember the dead, absorb the horrendous sadness or relive the anxiety the terror caused in all of us, then we forget. We have been told over and over how we should never forget. Why? Not because of vengeance Rambo, “not forgetting” means remembering how to love, how to lose, how to mourn, how to miss, how to suffer so that we appreciate each other and our life in this moment because it is so easy to lose this moment. The pain, suffering and sadness allows us to live the joy, when it comes, in fullness. These full emotions lead us to experience how to really be human because, in the end, It’s not about the bling ya’ll.
Do you know that the Bible never mentions Jesus laughing? I’m sure he did, but it’s never mentioned. He does, however, have such terrible anxiety in the Garden of Gethsemame that he actually sweats blood. This is an real medical condition called Hematidrosis:
A thorough search of the medical literature demonstrates that such a condition, while admittedly rare, can and has occurred. Commonly referred to as hematidrosis or hemohidrosis (“Hematidrosis,” 2002; Allen, 1967, pp. 745-747), this condition results in the excretion of blood or blood pigment in the sweat. Under conditions of great emotional stress, tiny capillaries in the sweat glands can rupture (Lumpkin, 1978), thus mixing blood with perspiration. This condition has been reported in extreme instances of stress (see Sutton, 1956, pp. 1393-1394). During the waning years of the twentieth century, 76 cases of hematidrosis were studied and classified into categories according to causative factors (Holoubek and Holoubek, 1996). Acute fear and intense mental contemplation were found to be the most frequent inciting causes. While the extent of blood loss generally is minimal, hematidrosis also results in the skin becoming extremely tender and fragile (Barbet, 1953, pp. 74-75; Lumpkin, 1978), which would have made Christ’s pending physical insults even more painful. via Apologetics Press – HEMATIDROSIS.
There is no question Jesus experienced the full pain and sorrow of being human and that he can relate fully to our humaness nevermore so than when he says in Luke 22:42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” How lucky we are to have a God who experienced suffering and not just the lousy lay-off kind but the full extent of it. He truly did suffer for us. Just how much closer could we get to him?